Dina and Chris Capuano experienced almost every type of fertility treatment-- drugs, surgery and in-vitro fertilization (IVF) with intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). Although it’s been seven years since IVF with ICSI helped them get pregnant with their twin daughters, Dina admits that the emotions are still fresh.
What Were Some Emotional Aspects of Infertility Treatment?
The emotional part was the hardest for me. For so long you try 'not' to get pregnant by abstinence or using protection. Then you get married and eventually decide to get pregnant, and you can't. Something that is supposed to be so natural and easy wasn't happening.
I would see or hear about all these women having babies who couldn't even take care of them. It would make me so angry at times, and then sad too. The disappointment of finding out a cycle was negative was so much more depressing. Chris and I did our best to still have fun together, to enjoy being married. But the infertility thing was always there. Even seven years later, it is still inside of me. I have three beautiful children and the feelings of what we went through are still so easy to remember.
How Was Getting Pregnant With Your Son After the In-vitro Experience?
Extremely surprising! During our in-vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle with the twins, my husband’s urologist was able to get his surgery approved to reverse his varicocele. So we went ahead with it not knowing what the outcome of the IVF would be. Then a short while later, we found out we were pregnant from the IVF, so he never went back to be rechecked to see if the surgery worked.
We were just happy to get pregnant with IVF. Having the girls was so overwhelming and demanding. The thought of getting pregnant on our own was not something we even thought about or worried about. The girls were only 16 months old when we found out we were pregnant again. The feeling of being able to experience this all naturally was amazing. I loved being pregnant with my girls. Being able to go through it again with one baby this time was something I never thought I would have a chance to do.
Looking Back, What Would You Say to Couples Considering Getting Infertility Treatment?
Try to find a good doctor based on patients’ experiences. Read and learn everything you can about what the journey entails. Know all the options. I remember being told once you start, it’s not likely you will want to stop until you achieve your goal of getting pregnant. Go with what comes your way, but also have a simple plan to follow. Some people go through years and years, procedure after procedure, and it can really end up tearing you apart emotionally.
Is There Any Advice You Would Give Couples Seeking Help With Fertility?
Just don't give up. Become very knowledgeable with every procedure, medication, protocol, risk and outcome. If you have a question, find out the answer. Feel good about your doctor and don't hesitate for one second to question anything he suggests you do.
Find support groups. I wasn't shy or hesitant at all with being open about our experience. I found that it allowed me to find other people going through it too, which was comforting. We were determined to be parents. If the treatment wasn't going to work, we were already planning to adopt. I knew I wanted to be a mom. It was just a matter of how it was going to come to me. Another thing: give yourself other things to look forward to. My husband and I would plan vacations and travel. It would always give me something else to be excited about.
Six years after the birth of her twins, Dina lives life with her kids just like every other mom, but not a week goes by that she does not remember what she and Chris went through to have their kids. “It gives me a sense of appreciating them even more, especially when you get frustrated or irritated. I feel very, very fortunate to have them.”
Looking back, Dina also admits that the three years they spent trying to get pregnant gave her and Chris more time to build a relationship, travel and just be together. “At the time it was too hard to see it,” she says, “but I know it all happened the way it did for a reason.”
Read more about the Capuanos’ experience with infertility treatment and how they got pregnant with their twin girls.
