Infertility

When I had my second miscarriage in 2001 at eight weeks of pregnancy, I felt tremendous guilt. The pregnancy was unplanned. My youngest daughter was only 16 months old and I didn't want another one. I felt extremely negative about everything, and then, unthinkably, I lost my baby. I thought I'd caused it myself, that somehow the baby knew and chose to leave me. So imagine my horror when, after confirming the miscarriage at hospital, the doctor told me there were 'retained products of conception' and I had to have a D+C to remove them. I was stunned. First I'd lost my baby, then I find out I have to have an operation.

I would have consented to anything, I was so surprised, but my husband brought clarity to the situation and asked why that should be done. We were told to prevent infection.

'Isn't surgery a risk of infection?' he asked.

'Yes' said the eager junior doctor, 'but we'd give antibiotics and heparin for that.'

Rat poison? They wanted to do surgery, give me antibiotics and something that kills rats? For an 8 week miscarriage?

As I was still bleeding, I decided to pass them up on their kindly offer of drugs, and threw my prescription for antibiotics in the bin on the way home.

A week later, my miscarriage completed and I lit a candle to say goodbye to my baby, relieved I didn't have surgery.

Years later I discovered it can perforate the womb (which can be fatal), cause permanent scarring and even ruin your fertility. These are risks that no one told me when I was being asked to consent to surgery, and I think it's something every woman should know.